Pray

I'm saddened and continually shocked by the state of things on the Gulf Coast. I can't imagine caring for an infant with no diapers or water for formula. Breathing the same stale air in a shelter. No running water for toilets. Not knowing when you will eat or when can leave.

The Louisiana Governor, Blanco, has asked her state for a Day of Prayer and I think it's appropriate for everyone to pray or send good thoughts and, if possible, make donations to help the people in our own country who are in a living hell right now.

Sweating

Not really, but it does conjure a visual, doesn't it? When you think of "sweating," you probably either picture yourself or someone else perspiring and usually it's a pretty gross mental image. When I think of sweating, I think of myself in the first 24 hours after Liam was born, sweating like a pig in my hospital room. I wanted to lay with no covers on but I was in a hospital gown and my thighs were like liquid tree trunks from the IV. So we would close the door but get no circulation of air. Then a visitor would come and I'd have to cover up again and think about the wet trickle running down my sides. Later, I figured out that it was my milk coming in.

But I digress...

I'm not sweating in that highly visual and pretty disgusting way. I'm mentally sweating. We are six days and counting from Liam's first birthday party (note that is the day of the party not the actual birthDAY). So I'm here sweating the small stuff (damn that guy and his book - if you don't sweat the small stuff, what do you have left to bitch about?).

Here is a mass of thoughts that are swirling in my head at any given moment, but ALWAYS as I lay awake at night.

Will he take a good nap that morning? Will he like his presents? Please God make him like all his presents? Will there be enough food? How about parking? Will everyone get along? Will Dan stand in front of the grill the whole time? Should I share my bottle of wine or stash it in the bathroom cabinet for hourly swigs per usual? Erhm. Ah. I...mean...

Wonder if Liam's allergic to the chocolate icing on the cake? Ooooh what about eggs? What should I get put on the cake? Will everyone mingle or will they set up separate family camps? Will everyone get enough Liam time? Where else can I hide some wine? Oooh yeah. No. I... mean...

When should we cut the cake? Do we open presents in front of everyone knowing he'll lose interest quickly? What if he throws a gift across the room? Where is that wine??? I thought I left it in the fridge goddamnit... did I drink it already??!

Once the party day is here, I always have a good time. I hope for the best as far as the attendees mingling and enjoying themselves. But before the event, my Type A sweat-the-small-stuff mind goes into overdrive and makes me absolutely insane. I drive Dan a wee bit crazy as well.

Hopefully the weather won't be too humid, our A/C will work and I won't have to work the party in my hospital gown.

Photo Friday: Totally Random

Lily looks on wondering when she'll get her toy back.

Yippie Ki Yay! Where should I park my cow? 

Dat's some good tortellini! Ahhh... 

Goodnight Moon

"...Goodnight light
And the red balloon
Goodnight bears and goodnight chairs..."

And a goodnight was had by Liam. And a glass of wine relaxed my anxious oh-my-God-the-whole-night-is-ahead-of-me-I-can't-deal-with-it-if-he-wakes-and-screams-for-another-hour-again nerves. So a goodnight was had by me.

We hope you had a goodnight too.

Why is this so hard?

My husband left last night for Seattle. He has a short trip this time. He will be back by Saturday.

As you may remember from the last time my husband went to Seattle, my son took it upon himself to immediately get an ear infection. It was our first illness and we dealt with it with the Pink stuff (amoxycillan), Infant Tylenol and Motrin.

This time my son has decided his weapon of choice will be sleep deprivation. He began by refusing his afternoon nap.

I don't sleep well when Dan goes away. I'm used to his weight in the bed, him stealing the covers, and his snores. So tonight I didn't fall asleep myself until about 12:30am (I usually am in bed by 10pm, asleep by 10:30).

Tonight Liam woke screaming at 1:45am. When I went in, there he was, this little thing, standing there screaming in his bed. So I did the "feels." Felt his head (for feverishness), his tummy (for wetness), his back (for poopness), his diaper (for fullness) and the crib sheet (for fluidness). Nothing. I picked him up. The crying immediately stopped. Ugh. It's going to be one of these nights.

You may know of them. For unexplicable reasons, your decent little sleeper decides to throw a stick in the spokes and go on strike that night.

So I did what you're "not supposed to do" and I rocked with him for 10 minutes or so. He was silent the whole time, looking at me. He'd occasionally try to play and I'd stop him and just rock.

After the 10 minutes, I put him into his crib and he immediately started screaming again.

I shut his door, my door and got back in bed. He was quiet for about 2 minutes then just let it ALLLLLL hang out.

Is there anything like hearing your baby cry for 15 minutes straight? Maybe he had a bad dream. Maybe he felt awake and was lonely in the darkened room (he has a nightlight). I don't know BECAUSE HE CAN'T FRIGGIN TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG.

After 15 minutes I went back in and felt his forehead again. Maybe a fever was creeping up on him. How the hell do I know? So I gave him some Tylenol...he is teething and maybe these are his first year molars. Then I changed his diaper which was just wet, nothing out of the ordinary.

Then back into the crib. More screaming. He belted it out for another 10, then talked pretty curtly (I'm assuming baby curse words). Then more crying. So that was a half hour ago. I came downstairs and here I am.

I am at a loss currently. He is crying. I am crying. I assume we are BOTH exhausted. I've always been someone that needs a decent night's sleep to function well. I know bein a parent calls for sacrifices to one's sleep, but at this hour all I feel is pure desperation. I have a harder time falling BACK to sleep so I know tonight is shot and I have no relief crew for tomorrow.

I want to go in there but I'm damned if I do. He will stop crying if I pick him up, but I can't take him to our bed because he will start crawling around. There is nothing wrong with him (that I can see, feel or tell). If I go in, he could be winding down (somewhat?) and I could just kickstart him off all over again.

Right about now it's been an hour. I want to yank my hair out in clumps. I can't make him happy right now and take him out. I can't have him thinking it's playtime. Then it becomes a nightly occurence. Then what?

Wait...he stopped. Nope. Well maybe? No.

Why is this so hard?

Update: It's now 3:25am and it's been quiet in his room for about 15 minutes. I am going to bed. I'm hoping I can fall asleep.

Liam meets his new friend Antonio

"Hm..so what's up? They treating you ok? I like your jammies." 

I like him! 

"Um.. Are we done? Because I think SOMEBODY just pooped. And I don't think it was me."

Mum's perogative

I had to post another one of him laughing, but I cropped it so we can all enjoy his little beaver teeth.

Photo Friday: The week in review - 8.15-19.05

Monday: We bought Liam a tunnel over the weekend. He loves it. So do the dogs.

Monday afternoon: Tunnels are fun, MumMum! 

Wednesday Afternoon: This is the last week Liam will face backwards in his carseat. We know he is a few weeks shy of his first birthday, but he's well over the weight and clearly strong enough to sit forward. He's a bit squished as it is. But happy! Happy to go, go, go! As long as the ride is short short short. 

Wednesday Afternoon: Liam is so long his legs are squished and he has to put his feet up in the car. This is his travel bunny. 

Wednesday Night: A boy who is happy to see his Dada home for a long weekend! 

Wednesday Night: Daddy gets home and it's Part-tay time! Here Liam is giggling so hard you can actually see a tooth. 

Friday morning: Grampy comes to go golfing with Daddy, so Liam gets in a story before they go. The Very Hungry Baby then went on to eat a blueberry waffle and 2 strawberries. 

Friday morning: Liam is entertained by the dogs mauling each other. He is taking notes for future sibling play. As you can see, Lily the Plus Size Model Pug has the upper hand. 

Everyone's Doing It

The blogs of:

Pam Anderson "Diary"
Bruce Willis "Notes from Life"
Hilary Duff "Diary"
Jeff Bridges "Latest"
David Duchovny "Lions Gate Directors: David Duchovny"
Al Roker "Al's Journal"
Rosie O'Donnell "r blog"
Tom Green "Tom's Blog"
Britney Spears "Love B: stream of consciousness"
Babs Streisand "Statements"

Some of them are so boring. I mean snorefest. I'm talking watching-golf boring. Yeah. That bad.

LeapFrog Bastards

I want to thank LeapFrog, Fisher-Price and the the other makers of fine children's toys for including the feature which causes the toy to scream "BYE BYE!!" when you are turning it off, thus awakening barking dogs and squawking birds up to one mile away and my just-about-to-nod-off-napping baby upstairs in his crib.

These same makers also make the toys so sensitive that an adult sneeze can set them off singing "Hickory Dickory Dock..." at the reduced volume of "mind-numb."

Liam current is obsessed with his Baby Tad, who, when you press one of his hands yells "ONE MINUTE TIL NIGHT-NIGHT!" If you press it again, it yells, "TWO MINUTES..." Press again and it goes to "THREE MINUTES TIL NIGHT-NIGHT!" And proceeds to play 3 minutes of electronic music loud enough to peel the wax out of his ears.

They obviously want the child to take the toy to his crib and be lulled to sleep by the LOUD RELAXING MUSIC. SLEEP BABY SLEEP FOR CHRISSAKES! Why sleep with it? So he can accidentally roll on it and be told "THAT'S THE YELLOW STAR! BuhLLLING!" in a tone that will project him out of the crib and into the galaxy?

Bastards.

The Power Of [Bacon] Love

I just read a post that William wrote regarding his love of bacon.

Wars could be ended with bacon.

Bacon heals all things.

Dan has been known to say "I'd eat poop if it was wrapped in bacon."

Yes, he did. Ask my nephew, he heard him.

And we believe him.

Bacon.

It's only about half as disgusting as you think it is.

I've recently gotten one of my pugs, Lily, pretty good at taking her toy away from Liam and bringing it to me. I've mentioned before Liam's fondness for their toys, especially the rubber (Oh MumMUM, they feel so GOOD on my gums). Well today Lily brought out an older toy she found somewhere. It's two balls with a bar between them, like a mini barbell. And they are going back and forth with it. She takes it, he follows and takes it back. She takes it, he screams and cries. Eventualy he finds her and takes it back.

You are probably disgusted right about now, right? That Liam touches and sometimes plays with the dog's toys. Not the fabric ones - just the very washable rubber and plastic ones. At this point I believe these are probably some of the cleaner things Liam touches. So join me in getting over it.

It's so much less disgusting than Liam licking the air vents, the dogs' toes, or the slide at the park. The bathoom floor, the front steps, the hairbrush. The vacuum cleaner, the shopping cart, the mat at Gymboree.

See I told you it wasn't half as disgusting as you thought it was. Or could be.

Obviously missing his parents....

Sunday afternoon, Dan and I went and got rained out at a Red Sox game. While we were gone, Liam stayed at his grandparent's house. As you can see below, he sulked and cried the whole time we were gone.


First popsicle at Nonni's house! Think he's a little excited by the idea?

Chillin' in the pool with Uncle Ryan and my boats. 

Ben Folds 101

Who out there is digging this guy? If you are - can you point me in a direction of some songs that will help me get to know him better? I hear a lot about him but to me he's like the neighbor I see taking the trash out every Sunday night. He's familiar but I have no idea who he is.

Photo Friday: This morning's activity

What? Is there something on my face?

Slapping the tray. More food! More food! More food! 

This is him doing the sign for Enough! Cut! Hand across throat. Yeah - like he SIGNS anything yet! 

Concentration. Focus on task. Reaching the remote control [out of picture]. 

Hm...now what? 

The girls enjoy Liam's nap time.

Congratulations Alex & Shannon!!

Welcome Antonio Joseph!!! Born Aug 4 @ 1:08am - 7lbs 15oz - 21"
We can't wait to meet you.

Working Lunch

Today Liam & I went to visit my friend Karen and have lunch with her in their cafeteria. Another friend, Renee, brought her two daughters, Julia and Amanda, 3 and 1 years old respectively. All the kids were well behaved but that didn't make the conversation any less work. A sample:

Susie: So Karen, what's going on? Liam, eat one at a time.

Renee: Julia, the chicken is too hot, wait a minute. Amanda, hot! Just a minute ok?

Karen: Here, let me help you. Nothing much going on. Same old stuff. Vacation was great! Want me to get that for you?

Liam: MumMumMumMum

Julia: Want me to give him his sippy? Can I have a french fry?

Renee: Julia eat some chicken then you can have a french fry.

Susie: Liam eat your blueberries, that's Mummy's napkin.

Karen: How are you doing? Ooops he dropped it again.

Julia: Are you done?

Renee: What is it you want, Amanda?

Susie: Things are good. Busy, you know. Liam, that's Renee's wallet.

Renee: I'm going to switch [from teaching first] to teaching sixth grade. Need a break from little kids. Julia, come back here please.

Julia: Are you done?

Karen: Julia I love those braids! Oh do you want some of my bagel? Here you go. Oh Liam you want some too?

Julia: Are you done?

I could go on but some of my brain just leaked out through my ears. Oh that would be because Liam is refusing to take his nap for the second day in a row and is screaming from his crib. Apparently he would rather crawl around crying in exhaustion. That's MUCH more fun.

What are YOU digging?

I was recently tagged for a music meme by my friend Mac. Here it is:

List ten songs that you are currently digging... it doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're no good but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the ten songs in your blog. Then tag five other random people to see what they're listening to.

So these are songs I'm currently listening to a lot - not my all-time favorites or anything like that.

1. 100 Years by Five for Fighting. I think they are using it in some credit card commercial now. But I really like this song and the incredible swiftness of time passing it celebrates.

2. A Little Less Conversation by Elvis. Makes me move.

3. Jersey Girl by Bruce Springsteen. Makes me think of slow dancing in the summertime.

4. All Fired Up by Pat Benatar. This song gets my heart pumping big time. Love it for exercising.

5. You and Me by Lifehouse. Cheesy pop goodness.

6. Collide by Howie Day. More pop cheese whiz. LOVE IT.

7. Put a Little Love in Your Heart Remix with Ginuwine, Stephan Jenkins, Kelly Rowland, Vanessa Carlton, Al Green, Gavin DeGraw, Heather Headley, Melissa Ethridge and Musiq. It was used in the GAP winter ads last year. I got the CD single for free a the store and l-o-v-e- it.

8. When I Look to the Sky by Train. This song always is on my playlist.

9. Sunday Bloody Sunday by U2. A shout out to my boys. I can't listen to this song without marching my feet and saying "No more!" with Bono.

10. Various "I'm a Mom Now" songs. Let Them Be Little, Mr. Mom and Front Porch Looking In by Lonestar. Miracle by Celine Dion (sobfest). Where the Green Grass Grows by Tim McGraw. If I Could by Ray Charles (more crying).

I need to tag five: Jeffadizzle, Steph, Maria, Jewl, and Carrie (when she gets back from vaca). Have fun!

More [pics] Monday - cause I'm lazy!

Don't know why but I love these green shorts. Lovely how my camera makes me see how his outfit doesn't really even match. Sorry, babe.