LeapFrog Bastards

I want to thank LeapFrog, Fisher-Price and the the other makers of fine children's toys for including the feature which causes the toy to scream "BYE BYE!!" when you are turning it off, thus awakening barking dogs and squawking birds up to one mile away and my just-about-to-nod-off-napping baby upstairs in his crib.

These same makers also make the toys so sensitive that an adult sneeze can set them off singing "Hickory Dickory Dock..." at the reduced volume of "mind-numb."

Liam current is obsessed with his Baby Tad, who, when you press one of his hands yells "ONE MINUTE TIL NIGHT-NIGHT!" If you press it again, it yells, "TWO MINUTES..." Press again and it goes to "THREE MINUTES TIL NIGHT-NIGHT!" And proceeds to play 3 minutes of electronic music loud enough to peel the wax out of his ears.

They obviously want the child to take the toy to his crib and be lulled to sleep by the LOUD RELAXING MUSIC. SLEEP BABY SLEEP FOR CHRISSAKES! Why sleep with it? So he can accidentally roll on it and be told "THAT'S THE YELLOW STAR! BuhLLLING!" in a tone that will project him out of the crib and into the galaxy?

Bastards.