Monday, May 30, 2005

Tom Cruise is an ass.

You know, I've been brooding over this whole Tom Cruise dating Katie Holmes thing and his acting like a complete ass on every talk show in his circuit. I was actually GLAD I missed him on Oprah when he was bouncing around the couch talking about how in love he was and running around like a school girl at a sleepover. Many people I've talked to have told me that they think it's a publicity stunt. How else could Katie have gone from Dawson's Creek to Tom the Freak!?

But I happened to bear witness to Tom talking on Access Hollywood (guilty pleasure). He was openly criticizing Brooke Shields for her book and her speaking publicly about taking medication for post-partum depression (PPD).

And he said her career went downhill after she had her baby. Well no shit, Sherlock! She was immobilized by depression. She probably had some higher priorities other than finding a new sitcom or finding someone 20 years younger than her to dirty dance with in front of any passing camera.

Yah. He's a complete ASS. A Scientology ASS.

Now I'm all about everyone believing what they want and practicing what they want. But when you tell me that VITAMINS could cure PPD and anyone who takes prescribed drugs is irresponsible and dangerous - I'm gonna wanna smack you around some.

"These drugs are dangerous. I have actually helped people come off," Cruise explained. "When you talk about postpartum, you can take people today, women, and what you do is you use vitamins. There is a hormonal thing that is going on, scientifically, you can prove that. But when you talk about emotional, chemical imbalances in people, there is no science behind that. You can use vitamins to help a woman through those things."

Oh thank you Tom! You saved the finally emotionally balanced women from the Paxil that has helped them. And there is no science behind chemical imbalances? Oh ok, thanks. I'm sure the medical field will make a note and ask you to speak at the next conference.

Someone out there is listening to what he is saying and thinking that St. John's Wort is going to keep them from drowning their baby in a bathtub. Heads up: IT WON'T. Tom Cruise also discourages PROFESSIONAL psychiatry or counseling. Probably because he needs some.

I could go on but I found The Sarcastic Journalist said it much funnier than I could. Tom Cruise must have a vagina to know so much about curing PPD.

March of the Penguins

This link is for my sister, Beth, who has always appreciated these cool creatures.

Watch the trailer - it looks really good.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

This Morning's Lessons

7:30 A.M.
Me: Mama?
Liam: Da!
Me: Mama?
Liam: Ah Da!
Me: Mama?
Liam: DAH!
Me: Mama?
Liam: DADA!

8:oo A.M.
"Liam, that's the doggies toy."

8:03 A.M.
"Daisy, that's Liam's toy."

8:o5 A.M.
"Liam, that's the doggies toy."

8:10 A.M.
Me: Liam, see! It's still raining. Noah built an arc after all those days of rain. Who's going to build our arc?
Liam: DAH!

Yeah, he will! Because he gets home tonight!

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Boy Meets Corn

By golly, this corn is good! Posted by Hello

Double-finger corn pick up Posted by Hello

Monday, May 23, 2005

I Will Survive

"It took all the strength I had not to fall apart..."

That line is ringing in my head. We are closing Day 6 of No Daddy Week - 2 days to go. I feel like a damp wrung out towel. My dogs are looking at me with sad eyes and my baby keeps chanting "DAH DAH DAH DAH" as if I need a reminder of what's missing from our daily picture.

The week has flown and crawled simultaneously. You don't think that's possible? Oh. It is.

On three separate evenings in the past 5 days I have managed to work myself into crisis management situations. Getting home without enough time to breath between the evening tasks.

The Evening Tasks this night are as follows:
  1. Give Liam antibiotics ("the pink stuff") for ear infection he acquired as the door closed behind his Dad in the Town Car taking him to the airport for Seattle
  2. Supply Liam with a constant stream of Cheerios and Finger Puffs while preparing the dogs dinner (dry & wet food mixed)
  3. Watch Lily catch Cheerios.
  4. Feed dogs
  5. Prepare Liam's dinner
  6. Tell Lily repeatedly not to eat Daisy's food
  7. Start feeding Liam
  8. Start the In&Out Post-Dinner Game with dogs
  9. Feed Liam
  10. See #8
  11. Clean Liam after he has wrestled the spoon to the highchair tray
  12. Bring Liam upstairs to get into pajamas.
  13. Listen to Lily bark at the passing cars she can't see.
  14. Attempt to soothe Liam who does not wish to be changed
  15. Put in Liam's right leg as he removes his left from his pajama bottom.
  16. Repeat #15 in reverse.
  17. Again.
  18. Again.
  19. Feel victorious as the pants are pulled up successfully.
  20. Hear Liam poop.
  21. Back to #14.
  22. Walk around upstairs closing blinds and saying "Goodnight trees" "Goodnight Sal & June [neighbors]" "Goodnight dog poop"
  23. Realize Liam's blanky and bear are still in the bag downstairs.
  24. Retrieve items and go back upstairs carrying 26 lbs and sweating profusely.
  25. Turn on humidifier and space heater.
  26. Say "Goodnight light."
  27. Go to rocking chair and nurse Liam.
  28. Liam plays with my hair while he nurses.
  29. Lily barks and Liam turns his head and his pajama collar gets sprayed with milk.
  30. Liam, "DAHDAHDAHDAH"
  31. Insert binky.
  32. Rock as Liam stretches and attempts back handsprings from my lap.
  33. Announce that it's bedtime and deposit Liam into his crib.
  34. Go downstairs and let the dogs out/in.
  35. Listen to Liam fuss off and on for 15 mins.
  36. Go upstairs to help Liam settle.
  37. Discover he is laying in his own spit up.
  38. "Hello, light."
  39. Deposit Liam on the floor with friends and strip the bed.
  40. Appreciate that he didn't get any on his pajamas and thank God for small favors.
  41. Wrestle with the fitted sheet onto the mattress and ponder how many calories are being burned with high-speed bed change
  42. Wash Liam's face and apologize for not doing it first before wrestling with bedsheets.
  43. "Goodnight light"
  44. Rock.
  45. More infant gymnastics.
  46. Deposit into crib.
  47. "Goodnight Liam"
  48. Close door.
  49. Fall into puddle outside door.
  50. One more night alone.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

BBC Girls Meet!

Moms & Boys: Jody & Dov, Jess & Blake, Susie & Liam Posted by Hello

The Boys: Dov, Blake, and Liam Posted by Hello

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Photo shoot

His Highness commenting on World Events Posted by Hello

Hats are fun! Posted by Hello

See that crap under the coffee table? As soon as I'm mobile it's all mine. I've been eyeing it for WEEKS! Posted by Hello

So funny. Posted by Hello

The Baby Sheik Posted by Hello

Wednesday, May 18, 2005


So I haven't written much lately because I've been busy or uninspired. Actually I think I've just got a case of the Blahs. You know, when you feel like speaking to no one and staring at the television mindlessly is divine.

Liam is more active now - needing more of my attention. He's not the blob who could sit for endless minutes staring at his thumb. He is thinking and doing and manipulating objects and looking for Mumma to make a crazy face. Or sound. Or something. He's not crawling, but he is yelling. He likes to yell and screech. Especially for more Cheerios or Gerber puffs.

Dan left this morning at 6:45 (when a fancy Town Car came and picked him up) for Seattle. This is adding to the Blahs. I'm sort of numb because I don't want to think too much about it and feel lonely and miss him. I do miss him, of course. But dwelling on it does nothing but make me sad so I'm just averting my mind from it. More Blah.

Liam is the only non-Blah thing going on in this house right now. He is the very antithesis of Blah. He's all about new things like vomiting after he eats 4 small pieces of carrot and almost vomiting after eating a teeny bit of a green bean. Cheerios are new. How can he eat the Cheerios and the puffs but not the squishy piece of cooked carrot or green bean that is the same size or smaller?

So the Blahs go on... I'm sure I'll snap out of it soon. Sometimes you need a little Blah to avoid the greater evils... like the Blues.

Sunday, May 15, 2005


The Last Survey
Last Cigarette:I smoked one cigarette in college and almost threw up.
Last Alcoholic Drink:2 glasses of Pinot Grigio on Mother's Day
Last Car Ride:Today - ride home from Chinese restaurant
Last Kiss:Kissing Liam goodnight
Last Good Cry:Haven't really had one in a while now that I think of it.
Last Library Book:Cannot remember - must have been in college.
Last book bought:Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year by Anne Lamott
Last Book Read:Baby Laughs by Jenny McCarthy
Last Movie Seen in Theatres:Fever Pitch
Last Movie Rented:Napolean Dynamite
Last Cuss Word Uttered:Shit
Last Beverage Drank:Diet A&W Root Beer (I'm addicted)
Last Food Consumed:PB&J Sandwich
Last Crush:Liam
Last Phone Call:Made? To my parents
Last TV Show Watched:Desperate Housewives
Last Time Showered:This AM
Last Shoes Worn:Lands' End Sea-to-shore sneakers
Last CD Played:U2 - How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
Last Item Bought:Groceries earlier today
Last Download:Song to my iTunes: 100 Years by Five for Fighting
Last Annoyance:My left eye which is almost better!
Last Disappointment:Not being able to go to my niece's recital.
Last Soda Drank:See above last beverage drank
Last Thing Written:This blog entry
Last Key Used:Housekey
Last Words Spoken:"What is it?"
Last Sleep:6:45am woke up for Liam
Last Ice Cream Eaten:Hmm maybe in 5 minutes some B&J's Strawberry Cheesecake (beyond YUMMY)
Last Chair Sat In:Couch
Last Webpage


Friday, May 13, 2005

Same Time, Last Year

A journal entry from this time last year.

May 13, 2004
04:41 pm - PG Thoughts

Some things about pregnancy that I never really understood until I was here...
  • swelling hands,
  • feeling like my feet are going to explode,
  • getting what I call "porn boobs,"
  • the baby dancing on my bladder and having to go, then not, then having to go, then not,
  • getting out of bed to go to the bathroom at LEAST 2x per night,
  • back and side aches,
  • being out of breath up one flight of stairs,
  • loss of balance,
  • loss of any sense of my own body,
  • no margaritas,
  • various food restrictions,
  • hunger,
  • being weighed every month,
  • having someone poke around my cootchie at the doctor's office, which increases as the weeks do,
  • terrifying thought of ACTUALLY GIVING BIRTH,
  • the fact that my hair is no longer mine, it has a mind of its own,
  • the fact that some people talk to my stomach before they talk to me,
  • strangers rubbing my stomach,
  • strangers telling me my belly is too small or too big,
  • not being able to do anything for myself,
  • increased body temp a.k.a. "Is it hot in here or is it just me?"
  • trouble putting on my own shoes - they are getting tighter AND bending over is no treat; I think I painted my own toes for the last time the other day,
  • the adventures of GETTING DRESSED EVERY MORNING! and realizing that all my "cute" summer clothes from last year will probably be out of style by the time I'm are able to fit into them again,
  • And of course, the fact that I always feel like I've peed myself.

And back to the present, my eye is much better thanks!

Thursday, May 12, 2005


You can click on this pic to make it a little bigger. If you look closely - to your left side of his mouth - you might be able to make out that 3rd snaggletooth he has coming in.
Posted by Hello

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Conjunction junction, what's your function?

Conjunctivitis. Is there really anything like it?

Waking up with my glued shut. Changing my pillowcase every morning.

Burning every facecloth in the house after use.

And let us not leave out the obsessive-compulsive handwashing. I'm a pretty compulsive hand washer anyway since I've had Liam - but now I pretty much wash my hands anywhere from 50-100x a day. I'm not exaggerating. It's not worth it to use hand lotion because I end up washing it off after 5 minutes.

Yes, I have an eye infection in my left eye. It's nasty. The best part was when my eye doctor said it was bacterial and I could have picked it up anywhere, like a diaper. So now I keep thinking that I somehow got baby shit in my eye. And you know what? It's possible!

So far Liam doesn't have it. I'm trying to keep it that way. See the mention of OCD handwashing above.

The eye drops were $45 after my insurance co-pay. HELLO?! Blue Cross Blue Shield apparently doesn't want doctor's prescribing that brand. And the size of the bottle is, I kid you not, the size of a nickle.

Anyway, we are here trying to stay/get healthy. Pass the vitamin C.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Music Appreciation 101

Every parent has fears. Crazy neuroses regarding how they are raising their child and what sort of person they are helping them to become.

I wonder if Liam will appreciate the wonder of The Beatles and the divinity of Donna Summer.

I like music. A lot. I grew up in a house that was constantly filled with music. My parents, especially my dad, always had the radio on while doing odd jobs around the house. Which meant pretty much every weekend of my childhood, my house hummed with the sounds of The Beatles, Joe Cocker, CCR, or The Rolling Stones. Other times it was more R&B with Gladys Knight and the Pips, The Four Tops and Ray Charles. Hearing this music reminds me of my childhood. A full sensory experience, where I can almost feel the front steps beneath my feet or the kitchen table underneath my fingertips.

I was lucky to have older brothers and a sister who also loved music. Jackson Brown, Bob Seger, and Springsteen. Aerosmith, AC/DC and Led Zeppelin. My brother, Gerry, probably had the most musical influence on me next to my father. His bedroom in the basement was like a dark oasis where he let me use his expensive stereo equipment and spin his records. I can remember when we would sing into the bedposts and hairbrushes. From him I gained love for rock, heavy metal, hair bands and new country. Yes, I'm pretty well rounded.

But Liam doesn't have the benefit of older siblings to share classic music with him. I know he'll find out about pop on his own and through tv and the radio. But I'm concerned about his historical reference. How will he know about this great music?

So I've decided that travel time in the car and/or lunch time would be Music Appreciation 101. Sometimes I pick out cds or playlists on my iPod. Othertimes I hope for something good on the radio. Today he heard The Beatles' Golden Slumber for the first time. At lunch last Friday we played my iPod Funkytown playlist which includes Donna Summer, ABBA, and CeCe Peniston. I'm pretty sure it was my dancing that was making him laugh.

So I'm not sure he is really getting anything out of it now, and I know at some point he'll say he doesn't want to listen to Mum's old music. But for now it puts a little more love in my heart when I see his head whip around when he hears the Buick commercials featuring Areosmith.

Dream on, dream on, dream until your dream comes true...

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Happy Mother's Day!

Doesn't get much better than this. Posted by Hello

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Peeking Lily

I see you. Posted by Hello

Friday, May 06, 2005

Use Clorox in your brainwash!

Ok, I guess I have decided I'm the official spokeperson for gross commericals.

The new Clorox bleach ad has people holding bags of what we are to imagine is body sludge and skin flakes.

So if you aren't vomitting already, apparently you are to go to the grocery store and buy some Clorox or you are doomed to roll around in body waste sheets and towels. CLOROX WILL SAVE YOU!

Whatever! Wash your stuff in hot water people! I actually read a magazine that said bleach makes your whites dingier because it's stripping the fabric. Hot water is the best for whites.

See I do actually partake in housework... I swear. Your own little Heloise! Not so much!
Posted by Hello

8 months... time flies

I haven't had time to post much this week. Today I realized why. I've been playing with Liam.

Liam is at this great age where he is so aware and responsive and excited. I mean think of it... he touches a spoon and it's like a new world has opened to him. It's a spoon! But it's cool to touch and smooth. It's hard and tastes funny when he bites it. It has curves and weight to it. He passes it from one hand to the other and turns it around, examining the basin, the neck and the handle. Biting and licking it. "It's a spoon!" I say and he looks at me as if to say, "Thank you for sharing this extraordinary creation! Are there more like this? Yes, my toys are great, but please, more of these wonderful strange things!"

Liam turned 8 months old on Sunday.

He's a bit longer, a teeny bit heavier but the changes are mostly within him. He likes to reach for me and leans in at my face with his mouth open, pressing it against my cheek or neck. I think these are the beginnings of kisses.

Liam likes to bounce. Bounce on your lap, bounce with his feet on the floor, bounce bounce bounce. And he loves to stand and he is starting to rest on his heels a bit more, bearing weight.

We've been signing to Liam for a bit over a month now. I'm not expecting to see a sign from him for another month or so. We're doing signs for milk, more, eat, dog, Mum, and Dad. He definitely knows what the signs for milk and eat mean. I may pass out when he does his first sign to me.

Liam cut his first tooth on Sunday with two more following this week. One of the two is out and the third is right below the surface. Yes, I said 3. Liam is not fooling around here people! He's seen us eat chicken and steak. He's eager. Sure most babies only get 2 bottom teeth at first. He has 3. I think he figures, at this rate, his birthday dinner in September can be a nice piece of steak.

Music has gotten Liam's attention. Whenever there is music on the TV, his head snaps around. He likes when I sing to him (at least someone does!) He also likes to see us dance. It's amazing the lengths a parent will go through to get a giggle from a child. I dance for Liam like Elaine from Seinfeld because it makes him laugh.

Liam can now roll from tummy to back. So in his crib I put him on his back, he immediately rolls to his tummy then pushes over to his back so he's pressing up against the rails of the crib. Sometimes in the night he gets disoriented and scared and cries out. When Liam is on the floor he's more willing to dive forward for a toy, ending up on his belly. Still no signs of crawling but he may go straight to walking. Who knows.

Liam, you are getting to be such a big boy. Sometimes I look at you and think "Don't go so fast, stay a while." Then when I am nursing you before bed, and you are curled up in my arms as we rock in the chair, I see all baby. Quiet sleepy baby.

You like to play and have fun. You love Daddy to lift you up high and turn you into an airplane. Lately that's the way he's been taking you upstairs to get in your pj's. You love it!

You seem to be relaxing a little bit more with other babies. They still stress you out a little and that's ok. I see you watch bigger kids running and playing and you laugh and start to move like you want to join in. Your whole body gets animated and you squeal.

I love when you put your arms around my neck and lean in and "kiss" my face. It is one of the best feelings I have ever experienced in my life. Thank you for that.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Turd Poetry

Ok, Maria just tagged me for a meme. It's turd poetry. How lovely! I'm a college grad with a degree in English (not that you can tell by my grammar and spelling) and I'm doing turd poetry.

Here are the rules for Turd Poetry:
1. Write a four line poem with the 1st and 3rd lines being "turd in a punch bowl"
2. Make lines 2 and 4 rhyme, using any topic
3. Tag three other bloggers and force them to post a turdy poem on their own turdy blog.

Turd in a punch bowl
What's the big deal?
Turd in a punch bowl
It's not like it's your meal!

Since most of my readers with blogs have already done this... I tag Jeffadizzle. He likes talking about poop.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Look who finally got a REAL baseball hat...

MLB styling! Posted by Hello

Heehee Posted by Hello

Anyone need a roll?

I've got extra. Posted by Hello

Monday, May 02, 2005

Rainy Days and Mondays Always Get Me Down...

So this morning began in a banner way with Liam waking with a double-loaded diaper at 5:45am. You know it's bad when you walk into the room and can smell the shit already. He has his lower front teeth cutting through as of yesterday. So that explains the night wakings the past few days. It'll probably last a few days/week?

So our bedroom usually feels chilly in the morning, but this morning it felt downright cold. We figured it was the window we had cracked. The thermometer on our deck outside read 25 degrees. When I brought Liam downstairs an hour later, Dan informed me that the heater wasn't working. Luckily we have a space heater in Liam's bedroom because his room never warms up unless the thermostat is set to "Hell." I refuse to sleep in Hell unless there are handsome men fanning me, each responsible for keeping different body parts cool... so that is just out.

Dan stayed home to meet the Keyspan service tech to look at it/fix it. The time window Keyspan gave us was "oh sometimes between 10am and 4pm." Oh, ok. Thanks I'll plan my day around that. Oh well. He came while Liam and I were at Gymboree. Basically some valve was dirty and we had the fan set to low (we have forced air). So for the past 3 years I have been bitching about the cold 2nd floor and if we kept our valves clean and had the right setting I could have been bitching about something else! Time wasted!

Then Daisy decided to puke 87 times between 7-10am. We call the vet and they basically said "Oh that happens sometimes when they drink water fast and run around." Oh gee thank you! Next time I'll open a fortune cookie to get a diagnosis for my dog's stomach ailments. Can dogs get the stomach flu? All I know is the Diva Miss Priss, Daisy, does NOT drink water fast. She delicately lowers her mouth to the water and sips. Lifting her head when appropriate and then gently lowering her head again. She does not chug. Now the Divine Miss Chubs, Lily, she CHUGS water.

Oh yeah and at 5pm it starteed to rain. My throw rugs were outside, drying on the deck. I washed them all today. FAB-YOO-LUS.

The bright spot of the day was when one of the neighbors-whose-name-we-know-not came over with a big pot of flowers for us because Dan helped her out during the blizzard. He cleared her driveway with the snowthrower. Karma!