Thanks for the mileage

Four years ago I was a young bride ambling down the aisle (actually I was sobbing and hiccupping) on my way to wedded bliss.

Now I'm elbow deep in dirty diapers and dog drool and folks, I wouldn't have it any other way. When we said "to have and to hold" - which by the way I never actually said because we wrote our own vows - we mean all of it. The glamorous vacation and the horrible stomach flu. God the stomach flu is the worst. I can't be near anyone vomiting because it makes me vomit. One night my husband was so sick, I ran to a floor and 3 rooms away with the door shut and I still dry heaved. I'm a wuss, Internet. For that, I apologize. BUT having now owned two dogs who puke JUST to make things a little more interesting and a baby who used to like to regurgitate whole feedings while I cried, I am toughening up.

But I digress.

Per usual.

To have and to hold.

I have a habit of leaving my car parked in front of the house. We live on a busy street. The speed limit is 40mph. We are luck to have a driveway to the side which is connected to a circle in front of our home. The circle comes right around to the front door. So when I get home from somewhere, especially when I want to throw Liam immediately into his crib because GOD I need a drink, I park in front of the steps. This bypasses the side door and The Girls who are gated in the kitchen while we're out. The Girls get all chipper and barky when we come in that way, so to reduce anything that might rouse Liam from his relaxed ready-for-nap state, I use the front. PLUS when you open my front door the staircase up is right in front of you. Easy peasy.

Problem is if I don't go out again, my car stays there. And the next morning when Dan leaves for work he has to move the car back to leave via the circle so he can get into traffic. Cause there is traffic in front of our house too. Yippie! Why would we want to move? Top that with the lack of yard and sidewalk, it's the perfect place for toddlers! Cars rushing by over 40mph day and night or traffic halted so people are staring in our windows in the morning - SUPER! Hello America!

Anyway, the time it took Dan to move my car this morning resulted in him getting stuck behind the school buses which added 20 minutes to his commute. He sent me a nice little note this morning telling me this. How nice! How lovely! Happy anniversary! Blllllpt!

I have a commute too, Sweetie. Around this lovely home with a toddler. Here are some ways that you add on to my daily commute:
1. Your clothes fell 2 steps short of the hamper
2. The toilet seat is up.
3. The seat is down but what is that ON IT?
4. The eggs are still on the counter.
5. The dog food is open and on the counter.
6. The cereal is open and on the counter.
7. The diaper you changed this morning (yes! helping! thank you!) is still on the changing table.
8. The space heater is still on in Liam's bedroom.
9. The soda can/glass/plate/spoon/dirty Kleenex is still on the coffee table/end table/kitchen table/sink/plant.
10. The towel you used to dry off Liam after his bath (yes! helping! thank you!) is on my pillow. Damp.
11. Liam's dirty clothes are on our bed.
12. Liam's toys (all of them! wow! you must have had fun!) are all over the living room/playroom/kitchen/bedroom/dog crate.
13. The empty soda can sits on the counter 1 foot away from the recycling trash bag.
14. Another dirty diaper!
15. How many sippy cups do you need in 2 hours!
16. Why is the dog chewing Liam's baby spoon?
17. Is Liam holding a pen?
18. You want to bake something? Great!
19. Wow that's a lot of ingredients!
20. Our non-stick cookware does not need to "soak."

To have and to hold. Give or take and extra 20 minutes.