Note to Son: The Kicking

First, I want to congratulate you on your rapidly improving hand-eye coordination. You aren't getting the keys to the car yet, but you are getting quite good. So good that you are prompted to do other worthwhile things with your time such as kick, laugh, yell, grab my hair or worse - grab your diaper, and do back handsprings during diaper changes. Usually these activities often coincide with poopy diaper changes. Apparently you are seeking to improve MY hand-eye coordination. Thank you for the opportunity!

So please. Help me help you. Cease with the trapeze act with no trapeze. Let me do my job so you can get on with yours. Your job being pointing at everything and demanding they be identified, signing "more" every time you want a snack, and patting the shit out of the dogs.

Thank you.