Sunday, January 01, 2006

I'll Be Wounded For Christmas

What is it about the holidays that warrants bloodshed?

Sure new toys beget new injuries... we all know what happened to Ralphie when he got his coveted Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle (Deck the halls with boughs of horry, ra ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra).

But maybe it isn't the specific toy that brings the pain - maybe it's the season? And I'm not just talking injuries either. I'm also thinking of my friend Jody who emailed me on Friday with this comment about her trip with her husband and 17 month old to see family for Hanukkah, "Let me just say these two words: stomach flu. Add that to travel and let your mind go."

And it isn't discriminating - these things happen to everyone.

We escaped Christmas with nary a scratch. However, 3 days later Dan was testing out his new mandolin slicer. *cue dark foreboding music*

You see, the O'Neills... we like us some kitchen gadgets. And Santa was very good to us this year. Gadgets a plenty. Shiney and new!

So back to Dan testing out the mandolin slicer. And. Not. Using. The. Safety. Device.

So yeah, the mandolin slices amazingly well. Just check out the lucky-to-just-be-a-skin-abrasion on his middle finger. He'd be happy to show it to you. Especially if you cut him off on Route 128.

That same evening I was hastily trying to open the Aquadoodle box for Liam. We decided to let him do some "drawing". What could be better for a toddler with limited hand control than a pen that is filled with water and makes marks ONLY on this plastic mat. How did Ron Popeil miss THIS one?

So back to me opening the Aquadoodle box hastily and feeling the cardboard box slice directly into the skin of my left index finger. I KNOW! Disgusting! I said to Dan, "Do they give stitches for paper lacerations?" He directed me to the sink and assured me that they did not.

Now normally an injury to one hand would just make one lean more heavily on the other. But as I explained in THIS lengthy post - my right hand is limited in many ways so losing even a bit of function of my left hand is a BIG PAIN in the ass. But I'm lucky to have what I have to suck it up sister and move on. Besides I was completely Type A about keeping it clean and putting on Ne*sporin and bandaids so it healed pretty quick.

This brings us to today. We had my father-in-law over to watch the game with Dan and we were making many scrumptious snacks. I was throwing together a salad and needed to dice some tomatoes. We got nice new Henkels knives for Christmas!

*cue dark foreboding music*

Yeah so I turn to look at the shrimp in the grill pan and slice a chunk out of my left thumb. YES my LEFT thumb. It hurts like a mother and I can tell it keeps opening and bleeding. I KNOW! Gross! Anyone who has injured a thumb knows it's a BIG PAIN in the ASS. So I'm being a big wimp about it and whining a lot. I know you can't tell that here...

Plus, as a bonus, Liam woke up with a runny nose. And if there is anything he likes less than a diaper change - which is worse by day as he now runs when he sees a diaper or I say the word "change" - it's getting his nose wiped.

Wiped with a tissue covering a thumb with a big old band aid on it.

Wah.

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