Saturday, February 11, 2006

If Only It Were Pink Floyd in My Head... or no... that would be something different entirely, wouldn't it?

What the HELL has happened to my brain?

I have to say that lately - I feel my brain is what they took out of me when Liam was born, not the 8lb 6oz perfectly shaped headed love monkey that I call my baby.

I remember nothing. I know nothing that is new.

Current events? What?

Seriously. I am a person that used to be the Queen of Pop Culture. The Diva of Disco. The Movie of the Moment Mrs.

Not. So. Much. Anymore.

I am embarrassed to admit that I saw NO MOVIES that are nominated for any type of awards. I have not even seen the gay cowboys. People! I need to see me some gay COWBOYS!

I MISSED the Grammy awards. The conversation between Dan and I: Did you know we missed the Grammy's last night? They were on last night? Shit.

And the most recent jaw-dropping husband has started filling ME in on celebrity gossip. This is just not good, people. Because I'm starting to look forward to his nightly dish from the stories he's picked up around the water cooler. You remember the telephone game right? By the time it gets to the last person, the message is completely distorted. Well by the time Dan brings the gossip home to me, Oprah is pregnant with Kevin Federline's love child.

I don't know any songs in the top 10. I can't even keep up with a friggin SOAP OPERA. Is Marlena still with Alex or is she with John? Would someone slap Chelsea cause all she does is cry. Who is dying this week? Port Charles has a deadly disease sweeping through? Is that Scorpio? AAAAH!

I DO keep up with my evening shows but mostly because I'm so damn tired I can't move from the couch and the heat from the laptop is keeping me warm.

So I don't have the tv on much during the day because Liam gets glassy-eyed and starts watching. We do see some Wiggles and Sesame or Barney. And that, my friends, combined with playdates and Gymboree, is where the problem lies.

My brain? Is filled with toddleroni (copyright Claire O'Neal).

Oh Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr Golden Sun, shine some light on me.

Fruit salad, yummy yummy, fruit salad, yummy yummy

Elmo's has a goldfish, His crayons, too... That's Elmo's World, Lala la la, Lala la la Elmo's World

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! Stomp your feet! Yell hooray!

Gymbo the clown goes twist twist twist, twist twist twist, twist twist twist...

Hot potato hot potato hot potato...potato...potato....potato potato potato...

I sing these songs all day. And if I'm not singing them, I'm humming them. Or thinking them. They go around and around my brain like two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl. Year after Year.

Is there a cure? Anyone? Anyone?


  • At 11:52 PM, February 11, 2006, Blogger Johnny Mac said…

    you weren't the only ones skipping the grammy's. i believe "lost" had more viewers than the show.

  • At 12:31 AM, February 12, 2006, Blogger Carrie said…

    it says right here on page 10856 of 'what to expect the 2nd year" that you should pretty much abandon all hope.

    Actually, I'm kidding. the REAL remedy is to either take a trip with some girlfriends and drink heavily or get pregnant. Either option TOTALLY allows for the inability to think straight, thus providing the perfect coverup that you've lost all your marbles.

  • At 9:07 AM, February 12, 2006, Anonymous Jodes said…

    if you find the cure, please let me know. and leave liam with dan and go see the cowboy sex. those cowboys really are quite lovely. even when jake has the silly 70s moustache. but i have imagination, i can overlook it.

  • At 8:38 AM, February 13, 2006, Blogger WILLIAM said…

    I try to turn on MTV or VH1 at least once a week. I saw that Prince had a new Video out. Prince? Can you believe it? Oh And I also watch E! when I can so I can fake being in the know on Pop CUlture.

  • At 11:04 PM, February 13, 2006, Blogger Claire said…

    I make it a point, once a day, to check out entertainment news on Yahoo. It's my mommy duty to know that Britney isn't strapping her kid in a car seat, like the vile hooker she is.

  • At 9:44 PM, February 17, 2006, Anonymous Beth said…

    There is hope for you! You will become more aware as Liam gets older-it's like coming out of the mist. ER was on for a year before I got to watch it! I didn't think there was any new music from 88-92, unless Raffi released a new tape.
    Skip the naked cowboys-OVER RATED!


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