Photo Friday: First trip to the Zoo!

Almost time to meet my friends and see some animals! Woohoo!

Mikayla, Ava and Liam look at a buffalo. A big stinky buffalo.

This elk caused the following reaction in Liam... 

Haha! A live animal - not in a book! Woohoo! 

Woohoo animals! 

The birds... not so much a hit.

Mama Body Drama

Ok I've written about this before but I'm having a hard time with my post-pregnancy body. I'm a bit of an obsessive personality and so it's inevitable that I obsess about myself.

So since we are going there - if you are still with me... (Oh shit, is she talking about this AGAIN?! What a bore!) It's not EVEN so much as just my love tire. My feet!! Yes! My feet are wider. I get callouses on my feet where I never did before! Some of my cute shoes - yeah not so cute with my feet bulging out!

My skin! I was a pretty lucky adolescent - I got the occasional zit on my chin. (Oh My God but tomorrow is the big dance and Steve will never ask me to dance with a big zit on my chin!) Now? I'm breaking out like a 15 year old in the throws of puberty! I bought the washes and creams at CVS. Then I upgraded and bought some Origins stuff. Then I bought some philosophy products. Previously, in my pre-baby body - philosophy always did the job. I guess that was when I had about HALF the hormones that I have now.

My mother-in-law works in a dermatologists office and I know I could get in when I want to, but I held back because I figured if they wanted to treat it - it might interfere with breastfeeding. So I waited. And broke out. And broke out some more. It would clear almost all the way, then I'd get my period and BOOM. Civil war of the zits... my forehead versus my right cheek. What the HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL???? White flag! White flag!

So I decided to buy some of that Proactiv stuff they do the informercials with on television. I mean if it worked for Jessica Simpson and Diddy (a.k.a. Sean Combs, formerly P. Diddy, formerly Puff Daddy)??? So I'm on like Day 5 and while my skin feels better to the touch - I got a couple new zits. Maybe they were coming anyway. I figure I'll give it a couple weeks before going to the dermaologist. The skin care regime for Proactiv is very labor intensive. There is much gentle scrubbing, cotton ball toning, and lotioning. Not too much or you'll dry out! Not too little or nothing will change! Goldilocks, you gotta get it juuuuuuust right!

There are so many things no one tells you about having a baby and the post-partum trickle down of body issues. I mean come on! We'd still have babies! Come clean, Mommas! What sorts of post-baby body issues have you discovered??

I Dunno

So I keep coming here to write something engaging and witty and wise and nothing is coming, Internet! I dunno.

It could be because I was crying or raging at the wind because of PMS which soon turned into curling up in the fetal position because of cramps.

It could be that my boobs are in the way. Well, yeah... right. I wish. But more in the way in that they HURT like a BASTARD when I bump them. They want to GIVE FORTH MILK and I won't let them so they are throbbing like a subwoofer bumping "Bounce with me, bounce with me..."

Maybe it's one of the dogs dragging her ass around the living room so much you'd think she was trying to scratch her ears through her rear end. Lily. Honey. You just got your butt squeezed two weeks ago - you have another week to go, girlfriend.

It could be because Liam keeps trying to climb over the coffee table to get to the laptop. He scored four keys this morning with one swipe. The left and right arrow keys and the 'N' and 'M.' Liam, there is no 'U' in Mama's laptop.

It could be that Project Reduce-the-Food-I-Put-in-My-Face is making me a bit... shall we say... CRANKY. So much so, Dan made homemade chocolate chip cookies Saturday night and was tossing them to me as I paced in my cage. Liam isn't the only one who knows the sign for "more."

Maybe it's these symptoms I've had for the past week... hmmm is that a scratchy throat? No, today it's the sneezes. No, it's not, it's the runny nose. Oh you fools! It's the blinding head ache!

Maybe it's because I spent the entire hour watching The Apprentice: Martha Stewart hoping she'd slip and make a snide comment or call someone out because come on we all know Successful Women are all bitches! But all she did was smile the whole friggin episode! Though I'm going to keep an eye on her daughter... she is about as warm as a Klondike bar (mmmm ice cream). Ooooh it's a Good Thing.

I dunno. Whatever it may be, here's hoping I snap out of it. I really need to update this blog.

Photo Friday: Constant companions

Waiting for their share.

Waiting for the food drop. 

Note to Son: The Kicking

First, I want to congratulate you on your rapidly improving hand-eye coordination. You aren't getting the keys to the car yet, but you are getting quite good. So good that you are prompted to do other worthwhile things with your time such as kick, laugh, yell, grab my hair or worse - grab your diaper, and do back handsprings during diaper changes. Usually these activities often coincide with poopy diaper changes. Apparently you are seeking to improve MY hand-eye coordination. Thank you for the opportunity!

So please. Help me help you. Cease with the trapeze act with no trapeze. Let me do my job so you can get on with yours. Your job being pointing at everything and demanding they be identified, signing "more" every time you want a snack, and patting the shit out of the dogs.

Thank you.

The load on my mind

So with the end of nursing comes the end of those magical 500 calories burned every day just by wiping one of the puppies out. This is driving fear right to my heart. I don't want to get Mom Ass! You know... the ever expanding wide load trailer behind me everywhere I go. Hearing the BEEP BEEP anytime I back up. Being contacted by the post office regarding my own personal zip code.

I don't want a zip code for my ASS, Internet!

So this week I began the game. You know the one. The one where fat free taste JUST AS GOOD as the real thing. The game that makes WATER truly the nectar of the gods (as opposed to my opinion - Dr. Pepper or grape soda.)

I hate drinking water! But I force it down like medicine. I swear to God I do. When I worked in an office it was easier for me to drink it all day. Because I'd be writing on my computer and absentmindedly drinking it. I could easily drink a bottle on the way to and from work as well. But now at home all day. BLECCCCH. I buy the fruit flavored waters but feel that is cheating in a way as they have some sodium and Splenda. Water SUCKS! I admit - when its a hot day or something, sure. An icy water is lovely. But all bloody day long? In an air conditioned house? Bite me! I don't want it! I want Diet Coke and the like! All day long! And chocolates and sour cream and onion potato chips. Ooops. I mean...

So I play the water game. I drink a fruit-flavored water mid-morning. I cannot have a soda with lunch unless I finish that water. I have my beloved soda with lunch. Then I immediately drink a VERY LARGE glass of water. Then at 3pm I have my last soda of the day. Right now I am enjoying a Diet Coke. It's water the rest of the evening.

Another game! I put the Diet Cokes downstairs in the Mantown fridge. This makes they are further away and less of a temptation. I have to WALK (exercise!!) down there to get it and then WALK (again with the exercise!) back upstairs.

I lost about 5 lbs by not buying Oreos anymore. I swear to God. When people ask how I lost more weight, this is what I tell them. They laugh. I'M NOT LYING. Internet, can you say Trans FATS?

So now instead of Oreos we have those Jello fat free pudding cups. And it's not bad I have to say - and it meets my chocolate fix for the moment. I won't lie - there are days when I have had two. See - before I got pregnant, I did WeightWatchers and lost about 30 lbs. I am now the weight I was at when I got pregnant. It's about 5-7lbs (depending on the day) heavier than I was when I was maintaining my WeightWatchers weight. That weight wasn't perfect but it suited me and my body type.

Dan recently lost a bunch of weight. He walk/runs the treadmill just about every night. He does 4-5 miles while playing PlayStation. Go Dan! I'm very proud of him and he's looking goooooood. So knowing he's trying to eat healthier I'm trying to support him and take advantage of it for myself as well.

While weight-wise if I lose that 5-7lbs I'll be happy - it's the body SHAPE that is making me sick. These love handles - screw that - this LOVE TIRE around my waist makes me want to scream. What do I do with it? It sits right above my lower rise jeans and I just can't wear above the belly button jeans yet. Maybe I'm in denial! But I think when you buy them they come with a minivan! Now I like minivans (my next auto will most likely be a minivan) - but I still have a young toddler and I am sort of youngISH myself. I want to wait for the minivan so I know what to do with the soccer net and cleats in the back.

I am getting back to pilates to see if I can straighten this gut out. If I was actually enjoying the beers that it looks like I have that would be one thing. But the boy has been on the outside of me for almost 13 months now. Tired of being jiggly with it!

Mari Winsor can bite me - but I swear the pilates work. At least they did last time. Wish me luck!

The girls are back!

Well almost... I'd say in a week or two they will be back.

No I'm not talking about the dogs.

My boobs! Yes, boobs! Liam had his last nursing Saturday night. While it was a little sad, it was also sort of like some invisible shackles have been removed. I'm free! I'm free! So are the boobs! Eventually they will be back to normal.

Or less than normal. Imagine if you will, a balloon being inflated and deflated several times a day for almost a year. Oh what a sad, sad balloon. But the comparison must stop there. These boobs no longer resemble anything remotely perky and round.

When you were little, did you ever play a game called Toss-a-Cross? It involved a tic-tac-toe board that was raised off the floor and there were little sand/bean bags you threw to turn over certain tiles. Those little sand bags. Yeeeeah.

And yes, I did say little.

One more time

You have probably HAD IT with pictures from the boy's first birthday. But people - this is VIDEO.

We set the cake eating to music. It's a bigger file so dial up connections may find it WAY painful.

ENJOY THE BOY WHO LIKES HIS CAKE AND EATS IT TOO.

Happy Birthday, Dan!

Today is Dan's birthday. He was born on this day many years ago. Ok, not as many years ago as me... Because he's still practically an embryo.

I want to thank his Mom and Dad today. Mary & Danny, thank you. I appreciate whatever you did to help Dan become who he is today. I'm so glad he was born and hope that we pass some of the same things on to Liam to make him become a wonderful man just like his dad.



I'm not usually one to go one and on about my husband. Frankly, at times he is well aware of how wonderful he actually is. But I digress, this is supposed to be a nice tribute to my hubby.

Right after Liam was born, Dan had written some lovely things about how it felt to be a new parent on our web site. Reading them choked me up... And seeing as I was already playing postpartum hormonal hockey, I about exploded with tears reading it. I was speaking with my sister on the phone after I read it, sobbing and telling her how wonderful Dan was. My c-section recovery was a difficult thing. I wasn't able to change my baby's diaper for the first 5 days of his life. Dan practically changed us both, did all the laundry and made sure I was fed so I could feed Liam.

My sister said an amazing thing to me. She had told me how, similarly, her husband had spectacularly stepped up to the plate when her babies were born. She said, "This is one of those moments that you know you married the right guy."

And how.

I get tears in my eyes... Not thinking about our wedding day... But thinking about how Dan helped me shower the first time post-op. How he got puked and pissed on by our newborn and still smiled and changed Liam for the 10,000th time while I was having a nervous breakdown because my incision wasn't healing. How he brought me dinner each night as I sobbed for no apparent reason. How he held my hand and held me together.



He is a great dad, husband and friend. A great man.

Still, Dan is your typical guy. He watches football obsessively. He loves to play Madden on Playstation. He throws Liam around after dinner while I cringe and wait for the food to come back up. He makes up songs for Liam and plays with the dogs while giving me a few minutes to myself. He also leaves his clothes on the floor, the toilet seat up, and the cereal box open on the counter.

I wouldn't trade him for anything!

Keys

Liam is obsessed with my keys. Today I saw him near the front door doing his mischievous laugh (hehehe... heheheh... heheheh), flapping his arms like a bird and opening and closing his hands. He found my keys where I dropped them on floor, just to the side of the doorway.

That was it. He has had them in his hands or CLOSE to his person ever since. Not sure, but I think he may be plotting how to hold on to them till he has his license.

He jingles, he shakes.

He drops, he picks up.

He chews, he drools.

He puts them in the cart, shuts the lid, laughs maniacally (muah hahaha I have you now! Should I worry about the well-being of future siblings?) He opens , he grabs, he drops, he picks up, he shakes, he rattles. Lather and rinse. Repeat.

The noise of keys, however, is causing the dogs to become unhinged.

Keys mean someone is leaving or coming. As Liam crawls toward their bed - their "sanctuary"- and giggles and rattles and the dogs have nervous breakdowns on the spot.


They pace, they whine.

They nudge, they whine.

They sigh, they burp.

They take refuge in their stress ball.

I take refuge in a bottle of gin.

Joking.

Or AM I?

Still dealing

Katrina. Evacuee. FEMA. It never ceases to amaze me how simple words and names can suddenly hold so much more intense meaning. We will always know what people mean when they say Katrina, Nine-Eleven, George W., Vioxx, Enron, etc.

I continue to get hit unexpectedly by Katrina. I stepped away from the news a bit this past week. Really, I had to. It was too much for my head and heart. Liam has been getting more clingy anyway so there really wasn't too much time for watching t.v. On Tuesday, we headed to Target to buy a backpack and school supplies for this donation program. We were surrounded by other mothers and kids getting their back-to-school supplies and checking off items on their lists. It was very normal. Very day-to-day. We picked up some other stuff and headed home.

That afternoon Liam was playing well independently (read: not clinging to me, whining) so I decided to pack up the backpack. There are notebooks and a binder. Binder paper and a ruler. Pens, pencils and markers. Post-its. Tissues and Chapstick. Three travel size toothpastes, a toothbrush and a toothbrush holder. Mini notepad/journal and stickers. Starburst, Skittles and granola bars.

As I zipped it up, I was suddenly OVERWHELMED with a sense of futility. Of this one backback in a sea of thousands of children. Of the smallness of it all. Of the enormity of the situation and the sadness and the devastation. This measly backpack. I hung over the pack and the sobs just started racking my body. I was crying for all of it, really. Not just the gesture, but for all the people on the Gulf Coast who are displaced everywhere. For the little guy heading to class in a new school with no home to go to afterwards. With borrowed clothes, hoping the kids won't label him the "homeless Katrina kid."

Liam rounded the corner and saw MumMum being sad and started to cry so I quickly cleaned up my act, diverted his attention and put the backpack aside for Dan to ship out the next day.

When Dan was at his office, a woman saw the backpack - it is bright orange - and asked him if it was his. He said no and told her about the program. She asked if she could look in it. She looked at the items I had placed in there the day before, actually commenting on the thoughtfulness of some items like the candy and the tissues and Chapstick. Then she said she wanted to send one too. And asked him to get her the program information.

That made my seemingly small act feel so much bigger.

The following is a list of shelters in Mississippi accepting in kind donations (snagged from this blog).

Community Chapel Church of God, 101 Oakland Dr., Natchez 39120
David E. Steckler Multi-Purpose Building, 311 Liberty Road, Natchez 39120
Natches Adams High Gym, 319 Seargent S. Prentiss Dr., Natchez 39120
Parkway Baptist Church, 117 Sgt. Prentiss Dr., Natchez 39120
Washington Baptist Church, 39 Old Hwy 84 #1, Natchez 39120
UFCW United Union Hall, 101 Mount Carmel Drive, Natchez 39120
Corner of Hwy 45 and Bryan Industrial Road West Point,
Copiah-Lincoln Community College, Hwy 51 Wesson 39191
Crystal Springs High School, 201 Newton, Crystal Springs, 39059
Crystal Springs Middle School, S. Pat Harrison Dr., Crystal Springs, 39059
First Baptist Church, Old Hwy 27, Hazlehurst, 39083
Hazlehurst Elementary School, 431 Monticello, Hazlehurst, 39083
Hazlehurst High School, 101 South Haley, Hazlehurst, 39083
National Guard Armory-C. Springs, Harmony and Band Rd., Crystal Springs, 39059
National Guard Armory-Hazlehurst, Whitworth St., Hazlehurst, 39083
Shady Grove Baptist Church, 10190 Shady Grove S., Hazlehurst, 39083
Wesson Attendance Center, 532 Grove St., Wesson, 39191
Collins Elem. School, 401 Dogwood Ave, Collins, 39428
Collins High School, 1208 South Dogwood Ave, Collins, 39428

Photo Friday: See me, I'm one

see me yap in my chair

see my bandaid from my shots at the doctor's. 

see me monkey walk: hands and feet only 

see me squat 

portrait of a one year old boy 

And Whitney said crack is whack...

Is she insane? Has the woman COMPLETELY LOST HER FRIGGN MIND?

Babs Bush and her pearls and sensible shoes came out to the Astrodome and was quoted as saying:

"Almost everyone I've talked to says 'we're going to move to Houston'."

Then she added: "What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas. Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality."

"And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this--this (she chuckles slightly) is working very well for them."

THIS IS WORKING VERY WELL FOR THEM?!

I'm FLABBERGASTED.

Even sadder, when I was googling for a link to reference the quote... I came up with Japan Today, , the UK Economist and an India paper. Ah, may the world also bear witness.

What's your sign?

Liam signs "more" - wait... we haven't even given him the cake yet.

12 Months for Liam

Soooo we are a little late with the monthly newsletter. You got the birth story AND baby-cake pictures - what more do you want from me?

This month once again brings about many changes for this boy of ours. Firstly, that. He's a boy. A real live boy, Pinocchio. I see it in the shape of his face and the dexterity in his hands. In the mischief in his eyes and the depth of his yell. In the way he is interested the way things work.

Liam has made great strides with his motor and communication skills. He is easily pulling himself up and down, crawling, sitting back on his knees, and cruising along furniture. Most recently he has added stair climbing to his repertoire. His song and dance numbers are tops but he still appears to miscalculate his dismounts.

He likes to troll the kitchen looking for dog toys and cabinets that aren't child-proofed yet. I often look like I am playing a freestanding Twister game with a knee against that cabinet, an elbow against that drawer, my pinky waving him away from the stove. Actually the stove has a childproof latch and the knobs have been removed because DAMN, HE IS TALL. The cabinets with chemicals are child-proofed so don't send me hate mail. But do we really want him gnawing on all the Kudos? I think not.

Liam makes lots of noises. Some afternoons we sit in the living room and I swear I am at the pier surrounded by seagulls squawking. He is starting to mimic more as well. I yelp, he yelps back. When we read Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You? Liam can hoooooot like an owl. He actually will hoot the rest of the book. That's fine, Mr. Brown doesn't mind, even though Mr. Brown is more of a moo'er. Liam likes to pant like a doggie. He also makes this "rowr rowr rowr" sound that sort of gives off an exorcist vibe.

One of his new tricks is moving his finger up and down his lips "BLLBLLBLLBLLBLLBLLBLL." People... this "BLBLBLing" - it's BEYOND CUTE.

Liam has started experimenting with signs. He can sign "more" but still likes to yell instead. He can also sign "milk" but usually only signs it first thing in the morning. More recently (as in TODAY) he has started pointing. Pointing to his juice, pointing to the food on my plate, pointing to the balloon. He says "duh" or "gog" for the doggies.

He remembers things. In the morning I say, "Where are the doggies?" And he crawls over to their crate and Lily licks his fingers. When we say, "Upstairs?" He crawls over to the bottom and waits for us to open the gate. He knows "open" and "close." He knows "no." He will "come here." And will hold out "doggies' toy" for them.

He is starting to remember people. Especially his grandparents, aunt and uncle, and some cousins. He loves his doggies but was a little afraid of my parents Gentle Giant black lab last time he saw her. The time BEFORE that he nuzzled with her. He tries to give his dogs "lovins" but they usually run away. He also tries to pat them in that I'M GOING TO PAT THE SHIT OUTTA YOU way that baby's have.

He gives Mumma and Dada kisses and lovins which mostly involves ducking his head down and plowing his forehead into us. Liam gives us smiles freely, though he's not as generous with strangers. Sometimes he watches as they desperately try to make him laugh and then looks away disinterestedly. Or CURLS his lip at the FIRST then looks away. It's fun trying to rebuild a stranger's ego when my kid disses them.

Today Liam has his one year doctor appointment with a new doctor. We are looking to see how he has grown!

Liam, This year has passed so fast my head is still spinning that we just had your first birthday party. First birthday, kid! And you are blowing my mind this week with your signs and pointing to things. When you point to it, I call out it's name and I see you process it. Sometimes you point again and I say it again. Other times you squeeze your hand at it so I know you want it.

You say MumMum all the time. Even when you are busy doing something and just want to say anything... I still love it.

You haven't really wanted to wean from breastfeeding but you are getting used to the idea. I'm glad. My boobs will never be the same, but I am happy I did it for you. You made it easy and for that I THANK YOU.

I can hear you upstairs, ready to get up for the day, playing with your blanky and giving that whiney sort of voice that says, "Where are you? I'm ready for my day..." I'm ready too, baby. Because this next year holds many exciting things for us. And we get to do them together.

Happy birthday, Peaches. I love you. I'm glad you arrived a week early. That is one more week we get to spend together.
MumMum

Who's Got Your Back?

There is a great program at DoSomething.Org

You can round up new school supplies and backpacks for the kids affected by Katrina. The backpacks are being distributed by a middle school in Houston.

Click here to learn what they would like put in the back packs and the address for shipping.

If you can help

Many of us are preoccupied these days thinking of the Gulf Coast. I know I feel heartbroken and angry and helpless. I keep thinking of pictures on the news of babies and the elderly and families split up. I feel disgusted by all that I have one minute and so grateful for it all at the same time.

I'm going to post links this week on different ways that we can help. Maybe you are going to Wal-Mart and can pick up a can of formula. Or a pack of diapers. Or some men's socks or women's underwear. Or write a check. Or help your church pack a truck. Anything.

If anything, the blogworld has taught me that the world is much smaller than we think. We are all separated by six degrees. In my nightly blog-stroll, I've been coming upon requests for items, particularly for smaller shelters - or make-shift shelter, who aren't at the top of the Red Cross' list.

The following request I found here, A Clearinghouse for Toys and Supplies for Families Hit Hardest by Katrina :

"Cheryl Stewart sent us a letter from a shelter in Lousiana, which tells of their specific needs and gives an address:

We have thousands of evacuees here ... families in our schools, churches, store parking lots, some just laying in yards. They have no place to go. Entire families with small children and nothing but the clothes on their backs. We're taking them into our homes and anywhere we can think to house them. The Red Cross will be slow getting here as they are tied up in Baton Rouge & New Orleans areas. In the meanwhile, our community is trying to take care of these people and we're
overwhelmed as there are so many!

The Relief Coordinator for our parish and has given me a list of items we desperately need. We are not asking for money ... only items needed for these people. If you can help with whatever you can send we would be most grateful! Myron & I will make sure they are distributed where needed. We have a lot of donations of soap, toothbrushes, etc so we're ok on those for now.

The following are items we have none or very little of and need desperately:
*Baby Items: baby wipes / disposable diapers/ formula / baby bottles / baby shampoo / baby blankets >anything for babies
*Purell or some type hand sanitizer
*Pillows / blankets
*little T-shirts ( babies to childrens sizes)
*Over the counter pain relievers (tylenol, motrin, tums, alka seltzer, pepto bismol, band-aids, etc)
* color books / colors / board games / books (for kids in shelters)

You can send to:

Marksville City Hall
Attn: Myron Gagnard /Hurricane Relief Coordinator
427 N. Main Street
Marksville, La. 71351
Phone # to the mayor's office for verification: 318-253-9500"

The Prince Meets (& Eats) Cake

Today was Liam's first birthday. It was absolutely beautiful outside and a lovely day to be surrounded by family and friends. Everything went well and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves so what more can we ask for!

So what you are really looking for... the cake pictures.


I baked Liam his own chocolate cake.


He decided to give it a taste.


Actually, he found it quite delicious.



He thought he would just dig in. Have at it.


MmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMM.


I think he just figured out that he has cake up his nose.

100 Things

A lot of people do this, so I'll follow the trend. 100 things about me.

1. I was born July 22, 1971 at approximately 9pm.
2. I have two brothers and a sister.
3. I love soda but I try to limit to two per day.
4. Diet Vanilla Coke, Diet Dr. Pepper and Diet Pepsi are my current favorites.
5. I have a penchant for grape soda.
6. I know all the words to many Barry Manilow songs.
7. I am six years older than my husband.
8. I met him while I was working at the University.
9. He was a student.
10. He is more mature than most men my age.
11. I am less mature than many women my age.
12. I am the youngest child.
13. I wasn’t spoiled, but my parents were more lenient.
14. I still didn’t get to do whatever I wanted.
15. I had 3 surgeries before I was 2 years old.
16. Two surgeries were on each foot and one was on my right hand.
17. I was an infant with casts on both feet and legs.
18. I got lots of attention.
19. Doctors told my parents I might never run and play like other kids.
20. I did.
21. I am terribly self-conscious.
22. My weakness is trying to make things perfect because I know I’m physically not perfect.
23. Yes, I know no one is.
24. I still can’t help myself.
25. My right hand looks sort of like I have advanced arthritis.
26. It doesn’t hurt and it’s functional.
27. I can’t clap my hands together flat.
28. I always wished I could.
29. I played the flute for 12 years.
30. I still know how but I just never take the time.
31. The flute helped exercise my hand.
32. I didn’t want to play it but my mother pushed me to.
33. I’m glad she did.
34. I was a band geek through high school.
35. I loved it.
36. Dan never noticed anything strange about my right hand for the first 3 months we dated.
37. That made me love him more.
38. Many people notice it immediately when we shake hands.
39. I hate shaking hands.
40. I love hugs.
41. When I was young I fell off a chair while reaching for some brownies.
42. I hit the radiatore and cracked my head open.
43. If Liam does that I hope I move as quick as my parents did.
44. Liam fell off my bed once.
45. After he was ok and with his dad, I went into the bathroom and cried.
46. My right foot is a half size bigger than my left.
47. My surgeries on my feet were to straighten them and fix my heels.
48. My left foot is still a bit curved.
49. I can hardly ever wear high heels.
50. I love sneakers.
51. I love clunky shoes.
52. I had Doc Maartens in college that I wore until the soles fell off.
53. I drank a lot my last two years of college.
54. I had fun, but I’m not always proud of how much I drank.
55. Now I enjoy a cocktail or glass of wine.
56. Sometimes I crave a beer.
57. A beer would be nice right now.
58. Before we started trying to conceive, we went to a Genetics Specialist.
59. There wasn’t any syndrome found for my birth defects.
60. There is a 50/50 chance my offspring could inherit them.
61. That information kept me awake nights.
62. We knew modern medicine and my experience with these differences would create a happy life for our child.
63. I cried when I saw Liam’s perfect hands and feet on the ultrasound.
64. I have no tattoos but many scars.
65. I love television.
66. I look forward to my shows.
67. I miss my older brother, Gerry, who lives in Arizona.
68. I wish he was around to hang out with me.
69. I spent a lot of time with him when we were younger.
70. I looked up to him a lot.
71. I am closer to my sister, Beth, now than I was when I was younger.
72. I appreciate her more.
73. I like to shop.
74. I love to buy things for Liam.
75. I wouldn’t mind having two more kids.
76. We will probably only have one more.
77. I chat daily with a group of women I have mostly never met.
78. We have our own private message board.
79. We met on BabyCenter.com when we were all trying to conceive.
80. I consider them some of my closest friends.
81. We met in October.
82. I was so nervous and excited about it! It was great!
83. I used to travel a lot for work.
84. I liked it for the first year.
85. Then I hated it.
86. I was on an airplane one week after 9/11.
87. I cried through take-off thinking of a family friend who had been on Flight 11.
88. Being home with Liam full time is one of the greatest experiences of my life.
89. I have had many hard days.
90. I feel blessed to have the opportunity to be home.
91. I am surprised I made it a full year breastfeeding Liam.
92. He weaned really easily.
93. I think I was lucky.
94. He weighed 24lbs by the time he was 6mos old.
95. Dan is a great husband
96. I hate picking up after him.
97. He hates that I forget things.
98. We have a lot of fun times together.
99. There are many more ahead.
100. I can’t wait!

Happy Birthday, Liam! Open your present!

Hm...whats this? It's for me?!

What's in here? 

So many things to do! Where do I start? 

Open door! 

Lights on, lights off.